Three years later...

Three years ago I left a job it had been in for 6 weeks. I was signed off with stress, I was in tears every night and my confidence had been totally destroyed. In just 6 weeks I had gone from being happy and confident in my abilities to not being sure what kind of job I would ever be good enough for. 

This week marks 3 years since I managed to escape that job and it also marks the week I was offered my first freelance contract. I never really decided to become freelance facilitator, it just happened and I realised very quickly I didn’t intend to go back. 

Since that low point, I have learnt so much. About myself, about other people and about this profession I now call my own. I wanted to pause to share some of this learning as something I wish I had known three years ago. 

Find your tribe - I know this sounds cliche but not long after I started as a facilitator I found in the International Association of Facilitators (IAF). I didn’t know it as the time but this group of professional facilitators has been my foundation and support over the last 3 years. 

Its no walk in the park - Its not easy, things don’t go to plan and there is no one else to take responsibility. From undervaluing (and charging) for my time and expertise, not winning contracts and hitting burn out. Things go wrong, and they go wrong for everyone, even those people you look at on social media who really look like they have their s**t together.

Ask for help -  Every single freelancer has taken the leap at some point, they might remember the exact moment they jump in or it may have been a slow wade into the freelance water but they have all been there. I haven’t met a single person who hasn’t been willing to offer advice or help. The biggest barrier was my own conviction that I would just be wasting their time with a stupid question. 

Support other freelancers - The flip side of asking for help is being ready to support those freelancers that have supported you. If you can’t afford to pay for their services right now, it might not feel like much but pass their name onto people, celebrate and thank them for helping you. The world is small and they aren’t competition. When we help each other up, we all get higher. 

Imposter syndrome is real. I still feel like a fraud on a regular basis, what you see on social media is only a very small slice of what everyone else is doing and dealing with. The more I look, the more I see no one really feels like they have a clue what they are doing. Maybe if we all admitted that a bit more, it might make us all feel a bit better. 

There is no “right way” - For a long time, I felt under qualified to do my job because I didn’t speak the same language as a lot of other facilitators I met. I didn’t have names for my exercises that you could find in books, I couldn’t reel off methodologies that I would use, but I knew what I did worked for me and the groups I worked with. As I get more to grips with the academic side of things, I see how much of what I do, IS in the books, I just learnt it a different way. 

Take time off - I know it feels like you can’t because your to-do list is too long but I’ll let you into a little secret. It never gets shorter. If you don’t take time off you will burn out (yes anyone who knows me reading this will be the first you tell you I’m the worst at this, but I’m trying to be better)

Celebrate your wins -  This has been something that I have found really challenging. Talking about the things I have done that I am really proud of. I know it should be easy but I think we are conditioned to see that as boasting or bragging, but I am trying to move away from that. 

So Happy Freelance birthday to me, I can’t wait to see what the next 3 years hold!